i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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