woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
