Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
