i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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