fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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