oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
