I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I love you.
Bad choice
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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