Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
