What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
