about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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