You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i dont even know how to be here
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
