You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
