he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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