Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
