Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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