My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
