giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
