I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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