Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
