Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
