Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize