peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
