it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize