dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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