Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize