Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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