guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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