and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
