FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
