Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
