Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
