Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
