I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
