You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
