i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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