sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
