dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
