god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
