i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
