I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
