mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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