how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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