Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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