who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Houston, we have a blender
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
