Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
