he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
