how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
