hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
