plz talk dirty to me
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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