And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
