i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
