my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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