so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize