please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
