He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize