hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
