I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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