I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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